My Path Back to Being a Lone Master Article Craftsman (And Of My Eventual Rise Back!) -- The Confessions An Apprenticeship Leader
Article Synopsis by Ms. Blade Dancer
Mr. Tomasio recounts his experience leading a group of apprenticeship in philosophical inquiry. He describes using the Philosocom Article Empire to establish dominance and guide his followers for mutual improvement.
However, this ethical power dynamic led to feelings of loneliness and isolation, as the philosophy master yearned for genuine human connection and reclaim back a simpler humanity...
The (not entirely retired) leader reflects on his ongoing, uncanny transformations from a distant, authoritative figure to a more compassionate and a romantic man. He discuss the challenges of balancing leadership with personal relationships and the importance of emotional well-being.
Finally, he expresses his desire to return to a simpler, hermit-sage-like life, focusing on philosophical pursuits and personal connections, as a master over craft rather than over others. He acknowledges the potential for future leadership but prioritizes human connection and emotional fulfilment, as of higher priority first.
Yet... he also contemplates on rerising back. Back, only when he has no one left to love in his even-less-known life as a... caretaker of women??
Introduction
In my loneliness, I sought not the company of friends nor family. I rather sought dominion over apprentices, whom I decided to largely banish from my sight, until an eventual re-rise to power over them....
By the end of this piece, I will tell you exactly when, and why, I plan to re-rise back to power over them.... and even more of them too!
However, I will first begin by speaking of my strange management position, rarely seen in the contemporary world of philosophical inquiry...
Behind the Scenes
Dominion over them has proved an experience like no other. Using my article empire, I turned them into my loyal followers as we helped each other mutually with philosophy. Under the nose of you, my dear readers, I had many apprentices throughout the world, and I even fell in love with one of them, who is today my equal.
Under the shadows of many, many guest posts, I transformed and changed drastically. Using each other for intellect and merit helped me improve drastically, and I helped them improve drastically as well.
Overall it was a very mutual helping effort. Some of them I still retain under nicknames or as simply anonymous, as they will keep doing help in the shadows of weird names...
Ironically, having such power over so many apprentices has made me even lonelier as it is, of course, lonely at the top. Subjugation after subjugation, I have realized that what I wanted was not dominion but love. True love. A life spent together in hermitage and little else. After all, I am more of a philosopher, and a lover, than an altruistic, benevolent ruler.
The Growing Distance
Negative. I should help out of the bottom of my heart. Even if I never exploited them for personal gain, my rise of power still made me an aloof man. More than I ever was... Only the heart is what allowed me to slowly restore to my mind, the fact that I am merely a human being. Useful like any other human.
In my rise to power, starting from 2023, I only isolated myself more and more. Philosocom got revolutionized with our combined efforts as well. Many, many of the articles many of them wrote to me, I renovated myself.
Overall, my renovation operation of the site, that began ever since I rose to power, made me an even greater writer than I was before.
The Fruit of Merit
My unnamed, mysterious apprentice organization was a mutual school in the art of writing philosophy articles. Of course I couldn't talk even to readers, as we were busy catering to each other's feedback, mutually giving each other tasks. It wasn't equal, however, and I was still the leader. Yet, I always refused to see them as pawns. In my mind, they are their own flowers, blossoming to different colours.
Most of the site's articles have been renovated to drastic measures. Most of the renovation I have done myself in my isolation. That includes many, many of the posts they have written for me. Some of them, as of November 2024, have yet to even be published... I had both apprentices and external people whom I deemed my irregular equals. Some of them are still with me.
The more I indulged in renovating, the more of a master article craftsman I have become. Yet, it came at the price of not interacting with a lot of people. Furthermore, Finding myself lonely in both authority and skill, I realized my skill kept surpassing even that of my apprentices. Being at the top felt lonely in more ways than one, as you could tell.
And as the loneliness grew and grew, I sought more and more love. Love, is what made me human. Love, is why I founded Philosocom in the first place. Love, is an essential part in the art of article-writing, which I am a self-taught master of. Many studied it under me. That too, I did with my heart.
A mere human, I have done much in life even outside being a master of apprentices...
My life was overall a lonely one, as my late master commanded me to take care of my mother, who is ill with bipolar disorder. 17 years, from 2007 to 2024, I have spent ensuring she rests so she could be more protected from the enemy inside of her. Becoming more of an ascetic, and even a monk, helped me ensure that my late master gets her wish fulfilled.
Finally, finally I found myself retiring from taking care of my mother, as her bipolar condition was low enough to the point I no longer needed to take care of her in the shadows of apartments and rooms.
Much of my life I was a caretaker of women, as my own presence with them, especially when I wasn't authority over my large circle, had a chilling effect on many of them.
Overall, the close relationships I did have were almost entirely with women. Yet, growing tired of caretaking over these 17 years, I slowly grew physically distant even when caretaking in the shadows....
Yet, I personally found them easier to communicate with, as I was originally more sensitive and intuitive than a relentless, self-ruthless article lord...
The Hidden Journey Within
Helping them helped me reveal more and more of my past, which my mind repressed. With my love for one of them, my mind transformed more and more. The transformations of my mind compelled me to even be more withdrawn from others, as these developments are hard and difficult to understand... Not only the experience as article lord.
Inspired by the Heisenberg of Breaking Bad and the dojo master archetype, I ran my own empire like a shadowy syndicate. Most of them are still loyal to me and to my deep desire to rectify the world. Rectify this world, by dominating it with philosophy!
An eccentric reality, it paled in comparison to the smiles and comfort of my loved one. The more she smiled at me, the less lonely I felt. The more she was joyful and proud of me, the easier it was for me to rest after weeks and months of ruling my underground apprentice dojo.
Yes, I hid in plain sight very well. Yet, this hiding and the massive improvements of my philosophy blog was a sacrifice of much time and wellbeing...
As I transformed from my fatigued state to a state of power very few would ever get to experience themselves, I turned fatigued once more under the burden of letting them partake in my life's work in the name of humanity.
Free philosophy for humanity! What loftier ambition could someone such as myself could ever have as a blog idea? To share philosophy with love, not for prestige! Most of my time as master of this site was done from all my heart, not just from my mind!
My heart is often big as my mind, despite my distant, aloof presence from the very humanity I enjoy helping. I, after all, am a human too. A very flawed one, too.
I have disbanded many of them from my presence. I couldn't take it. I couldn't be both a leader and a lover. It made me stressed. All this while, I also saved people from themselves... some of them were of apprentice status... You do realize I had to be distant, as I had to recover from helping them from their own despair...
I slowly realized that, finally! Finally I can return back to being just a regular sage hermit that helps people with wisdom and articles. Writing articles is fun. Renovating them is also fun. It's nice to be happy, and not a dead-inside leader...
I began missing having emotions, given the size of my heart. With my various mental techniques, transforming myself was easy. Yet, my own transformations made me stressed too, as I developed an uncanny ability to regulate my own emotions more-directly... (A form of emotional-kinesis).
Yet I am not a freak of nature. I am not a supervillain (who are often detached from reality, like General Skarr). Deep inside, what I sought was to be human once more... Deep inside, I already was.
I am happy to be a human and not a cartoon character, yes...
I instead prefer enjoying the nectar of being a human... Once more... At long last I can be more normal. Free from the burdens of caretaking of my mother... Free from subjugation... Free. Free to love.
The Promised Return
One day... one day I will rise to power over more apprentices again. Once I find myself not having anyone to love anymore in a mutual way, I still have this deep, deep need to help in my own unconventional ways, just like my late Master Numi did to regulate her stress and emotions.
I led in her name! In her memory! I will, likely, lead more seriously once more...
That day is far away. Very, very far.
I refuse... refuse ending this article with an anti-villainous laugh.
I prefer returning peacefully to the shadows of this site, where I often belong...
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