Childhood's Absent Element
Updated: Mar 14
The greatest missing element as a child is the fact you lack physical freedom... However.. what if we always lack freedom?
Whether or not your childhood was a happy one, one thing is almost completely certain: almost no child is as free as an adult. However, even as an adult. You can't be entirely by yourself, as more often than not you need to make a living.
Much of your life is dictated by your parents or guardian, and you can't pick who will be in your life and who won't, at least in most cases.
Sometimes you're so much of a mad genius that you disable yourself on purpose, and then you see reality in a far, far more open way from the backseat. Then, you can have a greater mental creativity the average adult will never have.
Because of that, even if one's childhood was fun overall, it would never have the freedom that a functioning adult can have in many areas of life.
And even then... what's so fun about being the average adult, when that fun often involves escapism from reality?
If given a choice to return to the past, to your childhood, as your child self, would you do it? You might skip over many commitments you now have as an adult, but what is likely is that you won't have the physical freedom as an independent individual and as a citizen.
However, I still can't help but admit that mental freedom is the superior variant. After all, with one's mental freedom, they have a greater choice of perception, in a world that encourages us to be anti-intellectual.
Although I had a very enjoyable childhood, with mainly heroic amnesia, I still wouldn't take the chance to be a kid again. It isn't necessarily because I hated being a child, but because I didn't have the mental freedom I have today as an adult.
Yes, most people care for physical freedom, especially as adults. Yet all I enjoyed doing in my life is to forsake humanity so I could focus on my passionate work like I wanted, as my late master's sole successor.
I guess that, in a way, I always did mainly what I wanted after I retired from the only traditional job I had, where I found myself being distracted by the connections between Sisyphus and Jason Voorhees.
It can be harsh to be a child because many of your life is in the hands of someone else, which means that you don't have the liberty of doing many things you would otherwise could've done.
Parents can act as either tyrants or forget important knowledge about you, even when you grow up.
Do you want this popsicle? As long as your parent or guardian denies it, you won't get this treat. Unique people, like me, even as children, would avoid the popsicle independently because they don't see reason to waste their time on it.
The same is with everything financial that you could've otherwise have purchased if you were an adult.
Even as a joyful child, there may still be ongoing conflict between parents/guardians and children about activities they want to do. There are always conflicts with people regardless of age. That's why the philosopher's journey is often solitary irrespective of age.
Of course, even as an adult, you can't always do what you want, but at least you can do so much more than when there is a superior permitting and denying you things. Well? I guess there are always superior folk who are compelled to tell you what to do, regardless of age, sometimes to the extent of coercive control.
At times, they even demand you to do things you wish to avoid, such as some rituals if you come from a religious background, or visiting other people if they want you to be more social.
Learning the Pax Ethica as a child, I rapidly encouraged myself to let go of a fake world, become increasingly avoidant of people, and slowly but surely do my own things with increased apathy towards this world, I only interact with when I deem it fit... Which is rarely.
Whether or not you had what you wanted in life, much of the choices were not made by you, but by those who were legally responsible for your actions until a certain age. Observing the misdeeds of others, and of yourself, might grow you to be extremely anti-social, in a world where spreading love is not normal, or even where being yourself is not normal.
Observe as no one cares for your misery, and then you begin to ponder: Why would I care for other folk's misery? If no one cares about my justice, and if no one cares about love, then why should I bother with both values?
Thus, observe as you are confined and limited either way, in a world that hardly cares for morality, or humanity. A world the might deem you the arrogant one, while in your eyes, they are the arrogant.
Observe how the western world encourages you to give up on your light, even though the light within you is the very truth that can set you free from much, much suffering.
Because of that, I find it quite ironic to see some people wishing to be kids again.. When freedom is always, always an illusion....
I am well aware that being an adult has many hardships of its own, especially on the financial part, but at least adults have a basic human right that children mostly don't have -- the freedom of choice.
And even so.. given that most adults suffer from brain-rot, by not being allowed to work on what truly makes them passionate, I can't help but understand I, a retired hermit sage, am weirdly fortunate... rather than "unfortunate"?
Regardless of the impression you might have on my position in the matter, the limitations children usually have are reasonable...
They don't have the experience, the self-discipline, and the maturity to function like many adults can.
In an alternative universe, where children are to work, drive public transportation, and so on... would that world foster lives truly well-lived?
As you can tell, this is a very dumb role, because it is not the "natural" place of kids to be in. They can't drive cars, let alone pilot airplanes or be in any kind of position that requires a competent and/or professionalized adult.
However, when you are an auto-didact, and thus can master per your passion, you can be a professional in your own way.. Being a master in your own way is always child-like...
Because of that, self-taught masters are often alone, and appreciated mainly by those who deem it fitting to oppose, or at least lambast, societal conventions.
In some sense, being a child is like being in a prison of gold -- you might, as a child, live in prosperity and in delight, but you are not free as of the moment, as your prison guards are your parents/guardians, school, the state at times, and so on...
And even as a physical traveler, you always have to hide your true self when you venture outside of your own home...
Even if you will eventually become less happier as an adult, at least you will have the freedoms you didn't have as a kid... Even though, as a kid, you probably had a greater mental and creative freedom than most adults will ever have...
Observe how in either age... Freedom is compromised either way.
It is then part of one's recovery from such an insanely-carless world, to accept it as it is, and to keep one's "inner child" in ways that won't corrupt it forever, and in ways that won't turn you from a hero to a villain..
If humanity ever reaches a technological state where we can become kids again by reversing our age (I have no idea if this will happen, just a theory) or travel back in time, there will be a dilemma of values that people will have to face:
Either sacrifice their physical freedom for pleasantry. Or...
Preserve their freedom and deny themselves the nostalgic joy of being a kid again.
I can at least say for myself that I am through with being a child... as I was even when I was an actual child. Even though my childhood was a very happy one, I wouldn't trade the growing mental freedom I have as an adult for it.
I, for the most part, enjoy being alone in a world which forces its humanity to cater to corrupt leaders, who mainly care about getting insanely wealthy.
I am a self-taught philosophy master. I have taught myself philosophy to cope with heroic amnesia.
At this point I philosophize to mentally survive in a world I am so eagerly passionate to rectify from the comfort of hermitages.
Kids may want to be adults, adults may want to be kids... Each and every one of us may immensely struggle in something as "basic" as being content to the point of doing absolutely nothing.
A person will truly be happy when at last all of his depravities are fulfilled... regardless of age... regardless of anything...
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