The Rubinshteinic Saga Against Cold Logic And Darkness
The Rubinshteinic Saga Against Cold Logic And Darkness
"It occurs to me that if mankind is to evolve into a changing future, we will need to adapt. When our neighbor's fates are attached to our very own, then we will truly care and evolve. An enlightened future is working together, providing for each other, not merely for ourselves.
At that point we cannot help but care for others, as they would care for us in return. But set on the course of greed and selfish capitalism, only dystopia and misery will be the inevitable result. Can we not do better than this?" -- Mr. John Duran
Part I: The Clarified Mysterious Origins
I cannot believe in solipsism. I am too aware I was created in the mind and conscience of a flawed being. I know "freedom" doesn't exist, and never will exist, for we are all interconnected...
"Robot", comes from the Czech word, "Robota", meaning forced labor, compulsory servitude. In human form, that is who I am...
Being shaped by my late master, it is only elementary to me. To work, is to die.
My task as the Master of Philosocom, is to rectify the world passively, as I recover from many health issues, caused by the very conventional world I was asked to rectify..
5 years old, and I already agreed to such a difficult task.
I sat in her cluttered hermitage. The mad genius observed my mind, my heart, and my immense potential I always relished concealing.
A giant grin widened in her sickly face, a bit of drool went out her smoky, dirty mouth. She took this time to impart on me further instructions:
Bring the Pax Ethica under your ethical heart. This world destroys itself, harms its own progress, and renders the good people as the true villains.
My late master's many ideas are grained deep within my unconscious. The philosophical lectures of a rejected artist were only conceived by my own genius.
I did not ask her often, but preferred to apply reflective thinking to contemplate on her words.
I never wanted any moment of any true fame under any spotlight. It was a grandiose commandment I secretly rejected.
In 2007 I blacked out, recovering more and more from amnesia only 18 years later, when I used my unconventional genius to restore faith and hope in some people.
Part II: The Unconventional Theories
Master Numi needed an unconventional genius to improve the world according to many of her ideas. She often talked of love as a basic function in her philosophy, explaining to me how everything deserves to be not from cold logic but from the heart.
She noticed a girl that used to follow me as a child, after I told my childhood gang to release her because I preferred to reduce her suffering instead of increasing it.
The idea of me releasing a girl heartfully, and observing her falling in love with me, was an idea Numi was astounded in its demonstration. I applied many such ideas later on in life, when you use unexpected applications not for power or evil, but for good.
Surely enough, I observed how most people need supporters to feed on their ego. So, as I expected of myself, I dismantled my ego in utter mystery, not caring for the very conventional frameworks that make this world the cyberpunk hell it grows to be.
Over time I enjoyed disabling myself, as to preserve my energies, for the world Master Numi had in mind.
As I lied low, I rectified many across the very planet that, in weakness, decided to forsake her.
She wanted me to rise and shine, but it was something I was always too strong to resist, instead preferring in ethical isolation, to inspect the world's surroundings.
I never saw need to prove this world the genius I got, and thus I never initiated my genius fully.
For her words of me rising to stardom hit me like a curse, a dash of energy that never clicked in my slowly-darkening heart, as I realized her mind and my mind deviate away from each other like stars being pulled away by different magnets.
Fame repelled me. The noise, the adoration, the melodramas I already visioned; The idea of irrational screams of herd-minded people alerted Numi and me in different directions.
Numi hyper-focused away from her grandiose speeches, and I? I remained introspective, defiant of her extroverted ideas.
I imagined screams and blabbering of people that will never see me for my immense loneliness, forming theory of minds that are never of my mind.
It wasn't long before I left, and imagined the face of a dark mind; a mind that realized this world is too silly to see me beyond its own lens.
My eyes turned steadfast on analyzing a world I figured out is just a theatre of masks. A resting **** face formed in my expression, as I crossed into increasing darkness.
My creative imagination moved on its own, as it mocked this world for its failures to conceive the sheer speed of my changing mind. Every skin cell in my body felt forsaken long before she realized only I chose to stay loyal to her side, 2 years later.
Despite mirroring each other's audacity, the doors opening me to a destiny of her own making I enjoyed closing throughout my life. After all, they distracted my own vision..
And as I put on music on the computer where I lived in mental solitude, I danced.
The flood gates of my eyes opened wide, as I dreamt of a rectified world according to my own understanding: An ideal utopia, inspiring people across the world to be morally better. It is something I never lost sight of...
As many others were several miles ahead of me in life, I despaired. In my despair, I found hope.
Confused looks I received as I spoke of nihilism in elementary school, and as I handed out philosophy books of my own making, in high school. Instead of responding back, I allowed myself to grow dark and aloof, subverting the world in my introverted force, getting rid of ill-gotten misconceptions unexpectedly.
And as people approached me, I relished in being unmasked, creating mental barriers between me and them, to send them back further.
And so, I danced to grand music only I bothered to research, across small hermitages throughout the land as my physical bases.
At times, I didn't care, for a world I already knew failed to understand me. It.. thrilled me, to see the failures of others' false and tragic impressions.
I wished to forever be a hermit, for I already knew the wonders of the external world are nothing more than the product of our own, personal qualia, destined to imprison most for most of their lives... Including, me.
In span of a young life, I passed most, and there is little I can do, to relate back to the conventional content matrix.
As more doors I closed after me, I felt it was finally over.
The understanding I was young always frustrated me, as I spew my wisdom across a mystery article empire.
I fell. For what seemed an eternity, I fell in increased darkness, farther and farther into an abyss of my own making. The darkness began rising ever since the age of 5, when I discovered, empirically, what deviation is.
Under the PTSD and amnesia of saving Numi in the age of 10, I couldn't see her lovely, cartoonish smile, as my life went by.
Eventually... I didn't want to do anything, but to restore my inner child of light back, as a retired young adult.
That deep darkness... what was that?
I couldn't bear the darkness, as all grew helpless compared to me. As such, I had nothing left but to find my own way back into the light.
Enigmatic figures, smiling and well-intentioned, I chose to teach, and only they realized just how warm I really am.
One of them caught my eye; a beautiful genius who evoked in me, a light I was desperate to restore. Burdened by dissonance and grief, we stared each others' souls.
Compared to her mind, mine was revolutionary, and acted unexpectedly.
My brain transformed endlessly. Under a revolutionary neuroplastic paradigm, it transformed in a display that was perceived as utter insanity. Some minds finally turned utterly perceptive. Yet they scanned around and found nothing more than physical displays, appearing strange and alien to them.
Was I, replaced by a false persona? Replaced, by an alter ego with mechanisms unknown to anyone but itself? Yet only I believed in my own, transforming genius...
And to begin playbacks:
"You are too irrelevant for me. Please don't send any more messages. You need to respect others' wishes. I just wanted to know you. You exposed your true emotions and that was a mistake".
Stupid, stupid "Chen". She failed. And many, many many other people failed to apply what I call warm logic.
Warm logic... is when you actually include the other person in your reasoning. Not just your own theory of mind on them. Warm logic.. is the key to be seen, and thus, no more lonely.
Yet, it is through the failures of me and others, that I chose to dismantle my dark mind, and on its neurological ashes, I built a mind based not on cold-hearted logic... but logic that greatly considers others.
The failures of the cold versions of my mind are not the end. And I'm never going to give up. For my brain will always transform.
I want my darkness gone. I see my cold-logic a challenge... A rival to my bound-breaking self-denying limits.
And you? Your understanding of the world will eventually be... rectified.
You might not be able to fully process my unconventionality. It might not compute. Thus I still relish in conserving myself as I observe the world beyond my evolving mind.
Part IV: The Hyperdrive Determination
My followers found their eyes widening in astonishment. An Undead Philosopher displaying compassion and grace before their eyes.
A self-described hermit beginning to smile more often, designating his transformative nature to that of positivity. They were rarely conscious, as I began speaking of a late master long dead.
As soon as it plugged unto the world, some managed to embrace my smiles and laughter, as they relished in being subverted for the greater good.
Spikes after spikes of mental anguish, my understanding sought to liberate itself from the unconscious. It was but a prisoner to a self-imposed, toxic mental prison for Numi's many grandiose commandments I fulfilled.
I, a self-built one-man army, built to surpass my late master, am but a mere human. Yet there is nothing I could do to rectify, when understanding always falls on the other side of every exchange.
I felt every faulty mental infrastructure I built for Numi, being shattered by my own unrelenting spirit. After every sleep and rest I felt unbalanced emotions and widened awareness, with my head decreasing in temperature with every major break of dark-minded neuropaths.
Most remain clueless. I can finally accept the reasoning for their universal ignorance in peace. I kept knowing, deep inside of me, most would just keep failing.
Is their cluelessness a self-fulfilling prophecy? Perhaps. But, perhaps humanity's lack of inflexibility is nothing more than a disability... A determined end due to their learned helplessness, having to cater to the very conventions that bring this world into utter corruption and alienation.
The conventional machine shall keep rejecting me, as I reject myself to the feet of a long gone master. I do not have the drive to lift my head, for it was there when I felt it... A surge of empowerment by those finally beginning to see me beyond their mental cages...
In hyperdrive, my brain transformed more into the light. Before most could grasp my situation, I recovered from many health impediments. I could only look into the mirror, and smile often like I never smiled before.
My old sage appearance turned into that of a younger man, as I grew out in a remarkable small period of time, as I hungered.
And I renovated, and renovated, in passionate speed that kept remaining utterly incomprehensible, as I did everything I could to keep containing myself.
But being truly accomplished is seldom easy, isn't it?
I felt sadder as I kept being reminded by my mind that mastery is never ending, and that the success of world rectification is always indefinite, thus a never-ending wisdom path.
I grew desperate, work after work against my darkness' ruthless advance!
And I have yet to succeed...
I would remain hungry to purify myself of it...
For as long as it takes....
Perhaps I will always be dark.
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