Distance In Honour -- The Drawback of Dignity

Distance In Honour -- The Drawback of Dignity

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Throughout my life, I have been greatly respected for my craft and the role I have given myself, but I have rarely experienced love outside of my family. I am not a social being, and all the women who have been in my life are now gone, except for a select few. Some I have liked, some were only friends, but in the end, they have all abandoned me because of who I am. Those who choose the path of philosophy must take into account the possibility that, like me, they may be more respected than they will be loved. It is lonely at the top for a reason, and in general, philosophy is often a solitary pursuit.

In respect, there is admiration, but there is also distance, as absence is used, intentionally or not, to increase honor. Respect is for what you achieve, while love is for who you are. Honor is about accomplishment, while love is about existence. This is why respect and love are not always the same thing, and they can coexist (the same as they do not, as in the example of still loving you, but not respecting your boundaries).

As I have written before, there is the role of the sage in conventional stories; the one who is wise and counsels the heroes. Many may respect Gandalf or Yoda, but how many of you can say that you love them as much as you love the heroes? Even I must admit that, when I used to have a meditation teacher, I highly respect him, as I do now. But I did not feel much love for him as much as I felt respect. It was not because I hated him or was jealous of him, but because I was seeking his knowledge, not his presence.

It was in a way, nothing more than a deal, and in business relationships there must be respect. Have you noticed that the usage of honorfics such as Mr. and Mrs. can make you feel dignified? At they same time they also create a distance between you and others. That's because formality creates a dignified distance, while informality encourages open and more-friendly communication.

And that is why I assume that many of you who read me constantly are those who might respect me. But to be completely sincere, how many of you truly love me, like you would love a friend, a partner, and so on? You seek what I have to offer not because of who I am, but because what I offer is more important to you than myself, as it should.

This is not necessarily egotistical of you; this is simply to show that, if you respect me, you do so because of the function I fulfill and not because I am a human being. Had I failed giving you the insights you seek, I would've been irrelevant to you. Such is the conditionality in business, and in philosophy in general. Much of who we are is irrelevant compared to what we are here to give; in this case it's content.

Love, which is not necessarily romantic, is all about the person or object. It is a combination of joy, passion, and admiration for who the person is. Not every form of love involves respect. A victim may love the one victimizing them, even if the abuser doesn't respect their rights to security and health. Some lovers are violent, while others are manipulative (like energy vampires). Love and honor combined is for those who appreciate one another, while also being considerate of and appreciative of them.

When you buy an apple at a convenience store, or listen to a musician on the internet, surely you don't necessarily love the clerk or the artist, but you do respect the services they provide, don't you? The very same is true for the philosopher, because philosophers too are service providers, as long as they go public and do not hide in the shadows. Service providers are zilch without their services, underrated or overrated. Relevancy is proven through servitude. It's how I prove a certain person wrong consistently

I do not ask of you to love me, even though I am largely a loveless, solitary person. The last time I went to a party was about 13 years ago (Per 2023's revamp), which is around half of my current age. I rarely knew true love nor true friendship. As such, unless I am to find true love, I only live for work.

As I watch certain shows on Netflix, shows that are simplistic in nature, I am repeatedly surprised at how easy it is for the characters to make friends with one another and live a full life, while I struggled doing so, before the times where I became much more of an ascetic. During the times I had a social life (at childhood), I was never in the center; I was always on the side, a minor, extra component. Beyond my own family, I have known little love; little affection for me as a human being. I only get respect and care as someone who provides a highly appreciated service, as a philosopher.

I think I have many admirers, based on the feedback I received over the years, but to feel loved... that is an emotion I have rarely felt, before and after I turned into philosophy. My search for true satisfaction beyond the common joys of modern life did rid me only of worthlessness, but not of lovelessness. I wonder how it feels, to be regularly loved... loved, despite my intimidating presence.

My former master, who taught me the art of philosophizing, sees himself as a common man, even though he is not. Of course, philosophers can experience mutual love, marry, have families, and so on. But unlike him, I have a legacy to make and preserve, and other than coffee it's the only thing that makes me feel alive. Being a philosopher has its own share of social risk, and thus my very existence is technically a social risk.

I guess that's the difference between me and him. He seeks the shadows, the simplicity of the common man, while I seek exposure and renown as a means of contributing to the world. He cares not if he contributes to the world, for he is a man of anonymity. Should he have had the things I have, he wouldn't be prepared to admit their existence, and would instead keep them a secret.

Do you see now how honor can replace love? If you are too honest about yourself, you may make people uncomfortable and drive them away. Contemporary liberty enables others to condemn you for your honesty as said liberty is not completely honest with itself. I have experienced this hypocrisy myself. However, the entire point of philosophizing is allowed by being honest, with yourself and with others. It is about sharing insights and facts, even if they are disturbing.

That's how I drove Tiffany (false name) away forever. I was just too honest with her about everything. Full honesty is not something that many people are mentally prepared for. It's not necessarily because they are simpler than you, but because receiving honesty requires tolerance, and the ability to accept reality. Unfortunately, this isn't something all people have.

The function is not the same as the being who serves it, and those whose function is undesirable will not be respected or loved. Many of us act on conditional basis and it's one of the things that slowly made me dead inside.

This is a professional relationship between you and me: you consume my contributions, and I benefit from your consumption. There is nothing wrong with that, but the more respected one is, the more loveless this relationship can become. This is not because of hate, but because of the distance created by honor.

Therefore, as a philosopher, I have many readers, but very few friends. Friendship requires some degree of love, the desire to be with each other to the point of seeing each other as more than just strangers or passerby. Readers, like social media followers, can come as they can go without much emotional attachment.

Here is something you can learn: even if you are very respected as a philosopher, you may also have to deal with the isolation created by this respect. After all, those who respect a person also respect the distance that person may create between them.

Honor, ultimately, is the recognition of someone or something as having a more distinct, esteemed value than other things or beings, even if completely subjective. This value does not have to be social or romantic; it can also be hostile, like respect for an enemy, as that can help you not underestimate them. Likewise, it can also be respect for those whom you appreciate as being more than ordinary. This is the difference between basic respect and distinctive respect.

Perhaps, if there is life after death or reincarnation, I might be able to get rid of the annoying liability of loneliness and feel, once again, what it is like to be loved like "normal" people do.

I guess that's what Aristotle meant when he said that the delight of solitude is for either a beast or a god. These two entities can be taken metaphorically. One is an outcast of civilization, while the other is a highly appreciated entity.