My Philosophy On "Being Cool" -- Why It's Important
Updated: Jun 8
Synopsis by Mr. Tomasio Rubinshtein
Based on my experience, I believe that trying to cool yourselves is something that you should indeed consider, regardless of your sensitivity level. Remember that sensitivity is basically a synonym for higher vulnerability.
To be honest, it's quite difficult for me at least, to understand why anyone would glorify being vulnerable, as if it's a virtue and/or something to be proud of. It limits your life and your ambitions, when you base your life on the value of emotion, and less of other values in comparison. It can make you more anxious and thus more withdrawn from this world and from beneficial opportunities to your cause.
Increase your resilience, be prepared for possibilities that are likely to occur, and you might find yourself in less of a need for trigger warnings and such.
And this, yes? Comes from a very sensitive man. The irony. I "murder" my sensitive aspects to survive.
Finally, Mr. Lasher gives his own unique perspectives on coolness, sensitivity and masculinity. Coolness can be associated with not seeing reality as a problem to be fixed (and has to do with intelligence), masculinity/femininity can be associated with honesty, and sensitivity has to do with whether or not we choose to disagree with a person's methods and choice of perception.
When it comes to day to day life, unless there's actually a reason to be "heated up", we all should teach ourselves to "be cool". By being cool, I don't refer to being attractive, fashionable or anything of that sort; I refer to being chill and try to not submit to emotions, whose strength can hurt our mental balance. In other words, I at least define "cool" as simply "chill", and not much beyond this interpretation.
My own desire to become "cooler", comes from my troubled past, as a man who was, most often than not, overwhelmed by emotion. The more we are to drive backwards in time, the more you'll see me crying regularly, even if there is, in theory, not much to cry about.
When I understood how being emotionally overwhelmed as counter intuitive, I've decided to try and be less sensitive. However, by this ambition, I do not pretend to be without sensitivity, for I may always have that trait within me, just as my mother has and her deceased mother had.
Still, not all hope is forsaken, of course, since I realized that some of that sensitivity, is indeed within my grasp. Thus far, I believe it depends not only on one's own sensitivity, but also on one's perception of it, when it comes to suffer from this vulnerability.
No, I don't believe in the concept of "real men". I believe that every male human who is an adult is already a man. After all, that's the basic definition of what a man is. I merely developed a masculine personality in order to survive in my solitary life. Thus, even as a man, I don't see a reason to call myself, in public, a "real man", when I already am one, and when such premise should be out of the question.
What I aspire to be, on the other hand, is cooler, which is technically a masculine stereotype. Being a "real man" or a "real woman" only depends on gender and on whether or not you're an adult. Other than that, whether we strive to be masculine or feminine, is our own choice to make, is it not?
Some of my meds I take are there to cool my nerves, and ironically, drinking coffee makes me more relaxed. Maybe this is the reason as to why I enjoy coffee so much. As for the meds, I see no shame in having to take them, if it means I will be a calmer person. They also cost me quite a lot and require me to take blood tests every now and then indefinitely.
I do not pretend to believe that there will be a future where I won't need these pills anymore, regardless of the fact that they are disgusting in taste. Nonetheless, I force myself to take them just to preserve my current mental state. I take them reluctantly and with distaste, just to function.
This constant disgust of swallowing these pills, which taste like rotten fish (I think?), made me a more disciplined man, who sees life beyond the philosophy of hedonism.
Hedonism... is such a counter-productive philosophy. It basically says, that if you don't enjoy life, then your life isn't worth much. To all hedonists here, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Anyways, because I no longer depend myself on the emotion of joyfulness to deem myself worthy, life began to be seen as more reasonable. Why? Because there is much more to life than mere emotion.
I would define being cool the same as being serene: Having an absence of intense emotion, that could tip you off the balance of your mentality. Mania? Depression? Both are opposites of not only one another, but of serenity as well. Serenity is like the number zero -- it could be an absolute lack of either plus or minus, if you understand what I mean.
The whole reason as to why I left my hometown is exactly this -- to be more relaxed. It was a great sacrifice on my end. I can no longer see much of my family on a regular basis, and practically, the only people I know personally here are my mother and her current boyfriend.
I am a solitary person by nature, yes? But after being used to visit your family on a regular basis, life gets only further isolated from the external world.
And if it weren't for the fact that I can still write and thus contribute, I would've considered retiring from my public life here online. This awareness, alone, makes me calmer, for it grants me a bit of certainty; a certainty, that cools my head.
Mr. Nathan Lasher's Feedback
I am actually the coolest person I know and I don’t mean that in a social hierarchy kind of way. I scarcely react to anything. What reason do I have for not remaining cool? I don’t see life as a problematic matrix where everything is taken to an extreme level due to an imaginary construct someone has built up in their own mind. After all aren’t all problems are a result of people’s dislike of something's current state?
[The] trick to solving all problems is simply deciding which state you want something to be in and doing everything in your power to get it there. Small example would be a mess in a room. People can see it as a huge problem or, like myself, they could see an organized mess where they know exactly where everything is.
The state of a room is not a problem. People simply dislike the state it is in and all they have to do is put the room into a more favorable state. Why do you think children don’t mind a messy room? [The] power of imagination is an incredible thing which preoccupies our cognitive processes. Other things seem less important when an imagination is being used.
Now for the fun part. Is imagination not anything more than raw intelligence being used? So why is it only children primarily use intelligence in this expression? What if adults approached all things in the same spirit? Use imagination as you learn things. Never know what new things might be developed as a result. This is the core, heartstrings, of innovation.
Regressing back to the topic, I believe that being cool is nothing more than realizing that you can always change the “state” of something anytime you want to. Don’t see life as a problem which needs fixed. Just be aware that every single thing out there is in a state that can be changed at any time. I’m cool due to my intelligence utilizing polymathy to all me to see how to change any given state out there any time I see fit.
This is true of interactions between two cognitive realities. Your reaction will be a result of how their reality is meshing with your own. Simple solution would be to try and understand the other person's reality and what it would be like if you were in their shoes.
For those utterly horrible realities belonging to people who have such tarnished personalities, the other option is to simply change the environment you are in, in favor of a more pleasant one with more enjoyable people. Nobody is making you stay somewhere you don’t want to be. Work is no excuse as you are always welcome to go find another job if you are unhappy with the place you are at now.
We look into the idea of what it means to be a “real man.” [It's] Not something you either are or aren’t. By objective reality determining to which gender you are assigned. As far as which one you associate yourself with. You have to do nothing other than be yourself to be a real man. Where context needs to be assigned is to differentiate between being a real man and being a better one.
Every man out there, as in an adult who associates as such, is a real man in my opinion. So that is not the point we should be focused on. What we should be focused on is being the best man that we can be. That all boils down to start doing the actions of the person you want to be. If you want to be a nicer person all you must do is do the actions that a nice person would do.
Sensitivity only exists as a construct in relation to how you feel about another person's cognitive reality and if it agrees with your own or not. When someone introduces you to their reality you have two options: Agree or disagree with it. Its state in all reality is not important. Assuming it isn’t meant to hurt someone, States can always be changed to become more favorable. Call it stacking the deck in your favor. You find a state you like and do everything in your power for it to remain in that place.
