On Philosocom's True Master... My Mysterious Late Grandmother, Esther Drucker
Updated: Aug 24
(Philosocom's directory on death: https://www.philosocom.com/post/defining-death)
Article Synopsis by Mr. J. Igwe and Co.
The article "On Philosocom's True Master... My Mysterious Late Grandmother, Esther Drucker" is a poignant tribute to the author's grandmother, Esther Drucker. It explores themes of love, loss, idealism, disillusionment, and determination, framed in the context of both the grandmother's artistic legacy and the author's own philosophical journey.
The narrative expresses deep emotional connections, particularly the profound bond between the author and their grandmother. This emotional authenticity makes the article relatable, as many readers can connect with themes of grief, admiration, and unresolved feelings toward loved ones.
The piece delves into philosophical reflections, not just about the grandmother's life but also about human nature, perception, and the complexities of reality. The author's thought experiment on how people perceive reality highlights the philosophical underpinnings of the work, making the article intellectually stimulating.
The writing has a distinct narrative voice, characterized by its introspective and often cynical tone. The juxtaposition of warmth for the grandmother and disdain for the world creates a compelling contrast, giving the article a sense of purpose and direction.
The themes of legacy and preservation are admirable, especially in a digital age where preserving someone's spirit and work through writing or art takes on new forms of immortality. The use of symbolic imagery throughout the article adds layers of meaning, reflecting the complexity of the author's identity and their self-imposed role as both a protector and avenger of their grandmother's ideals.
In conclusion, this article serves as a heartfelt and profound tribute to the author's grandmother, offering valuable insights into the author's philosophical worldview.
Esther Drucker Nowodworski... I have always missed her since her death in 2012. In her funeral I was probably the only one who cried in joy, for her feelings towards me were validated by her family. I was her dearest person in her life. Likewise, she was the closest person to me, before her departure from this world. She still was, long after her death. For most of my life, she was.
In her final years, I took it upon myself to become her sole apprentice. My true master taught me a lot. The Master taught me that I should live in harmony with others, that I should treat people with respect, and that this world needs to be rectified.
This world... she cared much for it. However, most of humanity did not bother to care for her. As such, her heart was broken, again and again, by this world. By humanity. I heard her sorrow in her cries.
Humanity has abandoned and neglected me.
With all of her genius and mastery of painting, she was discarded by this world. Her art, it isn't found anywhere. I have checked. You won't find her artistic legacy anywhere but in this Article Empire, whom I decided to create and manage in her honor. After all, she did sought a better world. A world where, in her words, "Dogs do not chase after cats and vice versa".
My true master helped me recover from the disillusionment of childhood innocence. Many may remain innocent until later on in life. I, however, as solitary as I was and am, have lost my pure perception on this world very early on.
This was also aligned with the success of my first philosophical thought experiment as a child. People really do see reality, but only in the way of their choosing. Therefore, consciously or otherwise, they may blind themselves to reality's certain aspects, while believing in their own false confidence.
My own sorrow and depression started with this, and started when I learned my true master's great suffering. This has deeply affected me, to this day. And, due to the findings of my first thought experiment, my secretive, hermitic behavior has begun accordingly. After all, I realized early on in life, how blind people really are. Especially, those who think they see reality for what it is.
If they saw reality for what it is, they would've treated my true master with far more respect, instead of focusing on their own interests and emotions, with such impulsive recklessness.
Ironically to Philosocom's frequent readership, I was relatively extroverted as a child, and was part of a loose, rag-tag group of friends. However, without anyone's knowledge, their false confidence played into my hands very well. I have changed, transformed and darkened under people's noses. Children, as well as adults, taught they knew me better than I am. Pathetic. Pathetic over-confidence. A pathetic compensation for their insecurities.
I was seen by others as unpredictable in my behavior, despite becoming more solitary. However, much was per my planning, as inspired by the teachings of my True Master. She didn't have any articles of her own. Her main legacy to this world was her art. And art, she mastered throughout her life.
Somehow, despite her broken heart, my depressed true master still retained faith in humanity. Her heart kept breaking apart every time, as this world let her down so carelessly. However, I, as her sole apprentice, was the only one who never failed to disappoint her. For her true kind nature, this world ignored, I saw much reason to serve as the main... if not only... beacon of light in her life.
Had I not been so, had I have forsaken my master as well, she would've died far earlier than otherwise... Being both sick in body and in mind. However, despite this, she was wiser. Wiser than most people. She needed to be respected for her health. Therefore, respect, I have gave her. Gave her more than any human being ever cared to give her.
Her heart has also darkened, and her cynical mindset was accordingly. She was too dark for people to accept her. However, her darkness stemmed from pain and agony, and she mainly suffered in this life. People were overwhelmed from her eccentric behavior, and did not have a big enough heart to empathize with her. I, however, had. And, even as a child, I refused to escape her presence. I intentionally came to her hermitage frequently, and tended to her psychological needs.
I never feared her, like some people did. I was never intimidated by her. The weak of heart, did. And also, the weak of mind. I very much enjoyed her dark humor, and I very much enjoyed crying with her. It was a most genuine participation in worldly suffering. And this genuine collaboration in crying, gave the both of us much solace. I was trying to open my heart to people ever since, like she did. My heart was broken accordingly, of course. My revenge however was not hurting them back, but making sure I keep fulfilling my Master's wishes.
I didn't know her most of her life. Despite her old age she died prematurely. However, I still knew her the most. At her time, she also knew me the most. I hated when others where around. Her other guests, which I leave unnamed, argued with her often. I sat silently, observing them.
I sat silently, and I planned. Planned to fulfill her genuine desires for this world. I sat and learned. No one understood that I was always making plans, and didn't just sat passively without a care in the world. Negative, like her, I cared for this world. With my article empire, I demonstrate to you I still do, as my Master desired.
My arrogant, proudful persona served me well. Unlike her, I intentionally made people to stay away from me. I was always a good actor. I always hated it. I have built this site, also, to find another one. Another one to love me and love herself, like I loved my Master. I've been successful with this. Very much, indeed...
I became a really decent "actor" for I sought to prevent myself the suffering my Master summoned upon herself by her good-hearted behavior. I've darkened my heart, purposefully, as a self-defense mechanism. I've realized much of humanity and of its true colors. I thought faster than most people, and therefore, executed my plans better than them, as the faithful Rubinshteinic Soldier I am.
To ensure I wouldn't ruin my mental state like she did with her emotional actions, I became both solitary and intimidating. After all, most people didn't know what they did with her, to her. And, the same applied to me.
I pretended I was more emotional than I actually was. I pretended, because I knew society was a distraction from fulfilling my dear Master's wishes. It was always easier to philosophize when I was left alone. And as my frequent readership already seems to understand, much of my life's work is about ethics. I did so, on purpose. I studied philosophy, as well as English, mainly by myself.
I did it to serve her wish. To participate in rectifying this world. I refused being distracted as much as the average person. Hence, I heavily lambasted hedonist philosophies and hedonist activities. I focused on asceticism to strengthen my spirit, and made sure I will be more and more disciplined. My Master taught me good, as you can tell.
I am the fine product of my True Master's education. And, I have built this article empire in her honor. Despite being tempted to give up in the site's first years, I have changed my mind rather quickly. I never cared for traditional success. I mainly cared to make sure my True Master's legacy is preserved. Both her art... and with this blog, personifying her spirit in virtual form.
It was all planned. It was always planned. With many, I pretended it wasn't. I was simply playing the social game. I despised the social game with every fiber of my being, and I still do. I played the game not to be liked by people, but to ensure I was, am and will, be left by this awful world. Left alone, for my own devices. And with these devices, use them to build.
I was rarely interviewed. I mainly refused to. In practice, I didn't sought to be famous. I sought relevance. These are two different things, you see. My relevance in reality is gained by my success in helping others with my articles. Writing, is how I help this world best. Help this world, and contribute to its betterment. It's what the Master wanted. I carried out her orders in the secrecy of the mythical ninja. I acted, and still act, as my ancestor's mortal agent.
No one managed to figure this out. I am pleased with this. This ensured my ability to be left alone, as I hid in plain sight, as advised by Sun Tzu. I always hid in plain sight. Hence why, I never needed any pen names. I retained my mysterious behavior simply by leaving people alone, and by making sure they leave me alone as well.
Therefore, a large part of being misunderstood, as painful as it was, was my own making. My own, planned making.
The only reason I am confessing Philosocom's True Master, who influences this world from her grave by proxy, is for a sole reason only. For she got her requests, including the requests I am keeping private from your curious minds. I was the only one who took her seriously enough. This also allowed me to take other eccentric geniuses as seriously, while this world either overlooked them, or rejected them as insane.
I am a harsh man and writer by design. I lack empathy to most people, by design. I dislike this world, by design.
The world I like doesn't exist. It doesn't exist... yet. A more rectified world, is the world I like, and the world I wish to be in.
I am working tirelessly, and ascetically, for such a world. I don't care for this current world. This current world is morally depraved and overly corrupt. I despise it, and I despise those who wish to keep this world, as it currently is.
With my moral activities, I will keep on carrying out the tasks I took in the name of my True Master. How could I not come off by many people as an egotistical narcissist? They never sought to understand in the first place, my true nature. My true intentions.
Unlike them, I don't idly pray with hope for a better world, nor waste my time in escapism.
Wasting time in cafes. Wasting time in having fun. How, how could I have fun often, given the burden of my tasks? I live for these tasks, and I do not see their weight on my mind and heart, as a problem.
Negative. While you see difficulties as problems, I see difficulties as virtue. A virtue for growth and development of character. As investment opportunities I can use for my own gain. And my own gain, was always my True Master's. Her gain, was for this world, and for those she cared about.
My depressed, short master could have been seen for the wonder she was, if she invested more in writing. Less, in hanging out. Even, less in her artistic pursuits.
And it is with all my heart that I work on ensuring this world will see her true light. Through me, her physical personification. Her mortal executor. Her samurai.
Her willing Darth Vader, her Dragon.
Feedback by Mr. M. Svartgold
Mr. Tomasio's grandmother seems to me to be a righteous, kind soul who tried to see the best in everyone. Perhaps, optimism led her to believe others shared her pure heart. She actively sought goodness, often dismissing the darker side of humanity. This denial created a form of mental blindness, distorting her worldview.
I think she felt guilty for negative thoughts and assumed everyone shared her values. Trying her best to be respectful herself, she expected the same in return, as justice would dictate. However, our unique paths in this world means that different people will behave differently.
The 21st century is often full of indifference. People make choices based on genetics, experiences, and early influences, particularly parental values. For instance, someone raised with exposure to mental illness may develop misconceptions or fear. Others might adopt societal stereotypes.
The grandmother, much like Mr. Tomasio, chose silence over confrontation. She yearned for a peaceful world where cooperation and harmony thrived. Maybe inspired by the resilience of Holocaust survivors. Yet, the harsh reality shattered her idealism. Yet, to protect her sanity, she clung to hope, a coping mechanism that brought her both solace and suffering.
I think that, while her optimism offered resilience, it also shielded her from life's cruelties. Society often neglects the emotional toll of idealists, dismissing their suffering and denying them recognition. Mrs. Drucker's life seems to serve as an example to this negative subversion of idealism.
Prejudices and societal norms hinder authenticity. A couple's love can be stifled by societal divisions, for example, preventing or diminishing the joy of true love.
The grandmother, seems to me, endured an intensive deal of isolation and mistreatment due to her uniqueness. It might've caused caused her kind heart to be crushed by the burden of alienation. The world often values dominance over vulnerability, dismissing emotions as weakness. That is, even though the opposite view can breed the virtue of honesty, making it a strength.
I've been Tomasio's apprentice for a long time. He is a man that strives for emotional control while grappling with the allure of hope and relevance. Understanding how society's limitations hinder progress, making it difficult to be heard and valued, he acted accordingly to his ambitions, and began living in ethical isolation. He seemed to have learned much from the mistakes of his original master.
True understanding of people requires empathy. Success often stems from support, not just an individual's genius. The fact that he manages to not be a total hermit helps him achieve his grandmother's wishes for this world.
As such, I really admire his vision of a better world. It will take time, but his and his grandmother's influence can inspire change. By focusing on our good emotions, and not only on becoming more logical beings, we can nurture a society that values empathy, respect, and individual worth. A society more morally considerate than this one.
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