The Sad Dictator -- How Power Complies Authority to Cooperate (Storytime)
Updated: Jul 9
(Note: Written in 2023)
When Sorrow Dims the Sovereign's Light
There was once a tyrant,
Who couldn't smile much.
However, even if he wanted to smile,
He just couldn't do it.
All because he was sad.
Even when troops marched in front of him,
And trumpets roared,
And his image was placed everywhere,
He could not smile.
Not because he didn't appreciate the glory.
He was simply sad.
His sadness is absurd.
He has no reason to feel that way.
He has a palace,
He has food and drinks,
Servants,
Supporters,
However,
The fact remains,
That he is sad,
And that smiling,
Is just too hard for him to do.
There is no reasoning to this.
Despite being an absolute ruler,
He has no agency,
Over his own emotions.
Any delicacy offered to him,
Any statue built in his name,
Any song tributed to him,
He just experienced it,
And none more.
He isn't exactly cruel,
He doesn't exactly love to execute his enemies,
Nor because of his position in the world.
He is just what he is,
And sometimes,
No matter how much he or she will think into it,
Nothing much will be found,
If at all.
The only certainty of his,
Is the fact that he feels,
Have been feeling,
And perhaps,
Will feel further into life.
He has no reason to cry.
But on the other hand,
And yet that,
Feels impossible naturally.
Some people love him,
Some despise him,
It doesn't matter.
He watches the troops march,
Alongside the glorious sound of orchestra,
And waves to them above,
As expected of him.
There is no ending to this story,
For the ending is unknown.
***********************
A Birthday Meditation on Worth, Work, and the Elusive Joy
According to Judaism, the set of the sun marks the end of the day, and the beginning of tomorrow. I guess this is my birthday now. I have no idea what I should feel, but for some reason, I feel sad. I guess some of you will wish me a happy birthday, especially on Facebook. Some will be really happy for me, some will but less so. It does not change the fact, that emotions are prone to irrationality, and that counting on them too much, isn't a good reflection of reality.
I am 25. I feel incapable of caring towards the fact that I'm young. I do not have a death wish, but I am eager to ensure the fate of my works. Life for me is but a continuous work towards that end. Maybe happiness just does not matter for this function to occur.
I ate at a restaurant today. I don't remember the previous time I did so, maybe in July. The food was tasty, but the feeling of joy, wasn't there. It's just food.
And maybe emotions don't have much function in life when you're but a monk whose philosophy towards life, is all about the roles of functions of things. Everything? I pass under that judgement. That which has little function, or even is dysfunctional, is unworthy of my time, unless it could be more functional.
Yep, maybe happiness has no function for me anymore. It's just an emotion, and why should an emotion be so sacred? People tell me that love is more than an emotion. For me it sounds absurd. No idea why it's hard to smile. Maybe logic just ruined it for me.
The idea that emotion can be changed by direct will, is irrational. It is intuitive, and can only be done indirectly, through our thoughts. When I am told "Be happy", it doesn't make me feel happy. Why would it? A state of a being can't be changed so easily, as if it were a tower of bricks.
I guess it's fine. I will wave and thank as expected of me. No reason to do otherwise. I no longer feel that important, but I guess some people will portray me as such, by the dawn of the sun. No reason to argue against them. No reason to prove them wrong, even if I think they are. This is "my day" and I just have to accept it, that I have one.
No reason,
But,
To,
Wave.
Being a public figure is hard. Masking is sometimes vital. Those who won't read this, won't know. I just feel incapable of keeping this to myself.
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