The Storage Room Theory -- A Philosophy of the Heart -- How to Value Humans

AI art by Ms. Tamara Moskal

(Philosocom's Directory on Heart)

(Background music)

The heart (the emotional sphere of our being, not the organ) is like a storage room; a limited space that can contain a limited amount and size of items. But when it comes outside of the metaphorical realm, that includes people, as well. Some people's heart are bigger than others, in that regard, and they can contain more people than others. That makes them more able to endure and preserve connections in their lives. The same goes for these people's importance.

Cold is the absence of heat, so technically there is no such thing as cold independently of being related to heat. A cold heart, or an heart of ice, is a metaphor for someone who lacks human warmth. As such, the heart is not only a metaphorical container, but a metaphorical tool as well, in which we use to show kindness, compassion and empathy.

Either way, no matter how "big" your "storage room" may be, it is never infinite. You can't hold everyone in life, and surely you can't treat them all with utmost importance. That is because there are people who are unworthy to be contained in your heart. Not romantically, necessarily; emotionally, at least. I will give examples of traits of unworthy people, along the way.

Another reason for one's inability to contain and empathize with every single human being is because we do not "have the heart" for it. If anything, only very few people will be able to forgive, for instance, every person who caused them misfortune, and/or show pity. In other words, the heart is an expression of at least 3 basic elements:

1. Containment

   
   

2. Functionality

   
   

3. Power

   
   

All of which are limited, and that limitation is based on the individual. Containment requires attachment, and as such people like psychopaths, who are not attached to anyone, are considered heartless for that reason. Attachment, while a potential liability of unnecessary dependence, is important so we wouldn't dispose of others so easily, or hurt them in any other way.

It would therefore be unwise to treat everyone with the same degree of regard, especially if that regard is large. There are many uncaring people in this world. It is normalized to the point that alienation became natural. These are people who don't really care for you, no matter how much time and energy you dedicate to them.

They will be ungrateful to you. Some of them may even use you as their victim. They might not even care of the dedication itself. Be it a relationship you had with them, or, at the very least, a favor you did for them. They won't care much, they won't thank you sincerely, if at all. They will just abandon you once more, after you outlived your use in their eyes.

Having a heart is also a number 4:

4. A liability.

For some people need to be let go.

But for you as well, these are examples of people who are unworthy of your time, and are unworthy to be contained within your heart. That's true in a mutual way. They care too less, if at all, to deserve that place within you. Give them that place, and you can be quick to be disappointed. They care little for you. Don't be tempted to care much for them, because when they decide that you outlived your usefulness, you should adjust accordingly, and do so as well, in the name of moving on.

Caring for others is not a capacity everyone has appropiately, and not something that everyone is willing to give, even if they have said capacity. Thus, if you want to know who is worthy to be contained within you and who is not, you need to detect the following traits in people:

1. Ungratefulness

   
   

2. Dishonor

   
   

3. Apathy for distress

   
   

4. Filterlessness (no self-restraint, impulsivity).

   
   

Ungratefulness happens when you are not recognized for your contributions or your willing to contribute. Dishonor -- when you are shamed, despite your efforts. Apathy for distress -- when they don't care when you suffer from their actions, and worse of all, filterlessness, when they lack the self-respect to restrain themselves, as your agony, caused by them, is only worsening. Yes, it can go in that order, but not necessarily.

Your heart must still be open if you do not want to face the misery of loneliness. Open up to honest relationships with other human beings. That's the tradeoff -- either be vulnerable enough to allow people in your life on a closer level, or remain a solitary, and/or lonely person like I used to be (for almost a decade). For with every person you decide to store inside you, you risk some harm or another being done to you. Not physically, necessarily, but emotionally, at the very least. Love, especially, hurts.

I did not bother to risk the tradeoff I mentioned because I feared pain and had no desire for it, thus I gave up on love for almost a decade. I saw that pain as unnecessary, and believed I don't really need anyone close in my life. Emotionally close, that is. I saw society as a hostile, toxic and depressing environment. I still do see it that way, but at a far lesser extant, after I realized there are worthy people in this life, after all.

Here is a list of traits with worthy people:

1. Gratefulness,

   
   

2. Honor

   
   

3. Compassion

   
   

4. Restraint

   
   

The grateful recognize your contributions and efforts to them. They respect you for them, and you, as a person. They suffer along with you because they truly care for you, and they restrain themselves because they have no desire to add into your suffering, and know that it would contradict with the good will that is easing your pain.

If you don't want to give worth to people who do not deserve it, you need to distinguish between people who display worthy traits, versus those with unworthy traits. Don't lose faith in humanity due to the latter, because there are people out there who are truly good beings. People who are truly humane. Normative or not, it does not matter. Norms can be used as an excuse to be inhumane, hence why they can be pretentious.

Do not close your storage room to "high-quality items", just because it stored bad-quality ones in the past. It shouldn't make sense. Do not let the past stand in the way of your future. It only makes sense because of the harm the low-quality "items" have caused to you and to your metaphorical storage room. Open yourselves to risk. There is no other way that I know of, at least. To depend completely on the past is the reason I devised the Victory Fallacy.

Only a masochist loves pain, but life is painful. Life is painful because of other people, because a lot of unworthy people are out there.

You are the one with the freedom of choice of who to keep closer and who to keep away. The owner of this storage room is yourself. It is up to you to decide what let in, what let out, and what to not store inside in the first place.

Very few humans can endure a life of complete solitude, or at least a very large one. They are called hermits, of course. I am one. But after a decade of emotional isolation from others, where almost no one had a true place in my heart, I had quite enough. I had quite enough specifically because there are worthy people. I hope most of you, readers, are. For you are the readership I strive and am grateful to have.

I am aware of my potential, and as such I am unwilling to give up on the extent of contribution I can bring to this world. I refuse letting a few rotten apples stand in my path.

And perhpas one day, this self-devouring feeling of loneliness will cease to torment me. But friends won't cut it. Only someone to love. In the absence of love, I will seek power, because I have much to give, and I need to keep on giving to not be consumed by my isolation and skin deprivation.

You can say that the heart is also a number 5:

5. A need.

Thanks for reading.